Many things have happened during this period of time. My first GEMs 7, this concert just made me love TPDE even more. However, I dont always feel very into the club. Maybe its cos I dont help out and bond enough, or maybe I dont do it obvious enough. Its okay, my efforts to help would be recognize someday, I hope. Nevertheless, I still love everyone in it. Let's just hope that the freshies of DE would be so awesome as the current dancers now :D!
Recently I also got employed as an employee in subway. It was of pure luck that I got hired because they didnt wanna hire me the first time I interviewed, I made a right decision but trying to ask for the job for a second time (: My colleagues are awesome, everyone of them, although they always complained that I'm quite slow as im still new, they still helped me out. Really thankful for that. The feeling of clearing the long queue of customers is priceless. Its like playing dinner dash on the computer, but the only difference is that this is real life. And the game didnt prepare us for shitty customers.
Subway is definitely much better than sakae, I dont have to put on smile anymore for irritating customers. I dont have to constantly get scolded by my ex-managers anymore, dont have to service with a smile which is really a relieve. However much subway is good, I still miss all of my ex-colleages, especially may (who worked at another place from me now *sad) and kenneth! I still remembered the days when I first stepped into the working world, kenneth is the one who taught me everything from serving properly and to taking the tips haha! He really is the bestest awesomest colleague ever. Ever. There, howvever, is never gonna be the chance to work with him anymore :( Despite the fact, I am sure that there would definitely be nice colleagues like him for me :)
Other than all the surface stuff, all those thoughts bottling up in my mind is still there. I just dont know what to do, I dont know what I want. I thought I did, but maybe its just my own illusion. My heart keep lying to myself, I really dont know why. Maybe it should just stop so I wont have any problems with it. Just saying but seriously. And the fact that I'd never be someone good enough is hitting on me. Everyone like sweet, nice girls. Those that are innocent and beautifully angel-looking. Guess I'll never be that.
