I dont know what I want. I really dont.

Sometimes it is me who confuse my feelings with the truth. I thought that I know what I want, but apparently I dont. The fact that I keep changing constantly is annoying me. Today just felt like its the day to get me thinking, pondering and considering what I really need and want. I always thought that I knew the definition of love and how it felt like, but I dont. I guess I had never really experience true love, yet. Maybe I'm just not ready to settle down for now, or perharps the right guy had not arrived yet. The guy that I am waiting for would be able to make me change all of my bad habits willingly, guess that it would take quite a long time to meet him.

Time passes and I dont feel that I belong anywhere, with anyone, anymore. It just felt so alone, to be good with everyone. When you are friends with everyone, there for everyone, you are actually all over the place. When I need someone, I dont even know who to look for. Too many friends all over the place that you dont know who you can count on. Almost always, I would trust the wrong person with my secrets and problems.

Not every friend that asked you about your problems is really concern about you, some are just curious. They stop being concern about you after they had heard the whole story of your problem, this is what I call fake. Not every friend whom you hug or whom you smile and say hi with everytime is really a friend, sometimes people just do this out of courtesy or sometimes people even do it because its their habit.

A friend is someone who is concerned about your ups and downs, someone who would be there for you like how you are there for him/her. A friend is someone who would forsake their clique of friends just to accompany you for lunch when you are alone. A friend is not someone who only think of you when they have no one else at that time.

I really dont know who is real anymore, except for my sisters clique, I dont know who are my true friends.